This is the week that my precious baby boy, Trent will be married. Trent has fallen in love with a beautiful girl, Calah. While we are very excited about gaining a new daughter, today I woke up with a bittersweet feeling. Kent and I have enjoyed every stage of our children’s lives. We have certainly endeavored to enjoy the engagement, too. We have attempted to do everything just right from taking the bride’s family to dinner to celebrate the engagement to hosting a nice rehearsal dinner later in the week. We have offered to help in every way possible and have done so from helping address invitations to preparing a slide show, to creating and printing the wedding programs. Helping with these extras has helped to make us a part.
The kids will be living in the church parsonage and working full-time for CUPC. Each time a new ministry family has moved into the home, Kent has worked hard to give a few improvements to the old style home. This time was no exception. Calah has chosen to add some vibrant paint colors of red and gold to the home. She has created a beautiful home for them. I have enjoyed shopping and buying a few nice gifts for them.
Though we have been busy the past six months preparing for the wedding, this morning I sit here feeling I will never be ready for the wedding. Oh, my list is down to getting the house ready for house guests, picking up a few groceries, dropping off Trent’s new shirt at the cleaners, reimbursing Trent for the shirt, pushing him to pick out a new pair of needed black dress shoes, and printing and folding the programs. I still just can’t seem to get ready!
I can’t get ready to not call Trent every morning to make sure the sleepy head is getting out of bed, I can’t get ready to not hear him being LOUD singing and talking silly trying to make his sister laugh or get mad whichever button he pushes, I can’t get ready to not have him ‘steal’ socks from his Dad’s sock drawer, I can’t get ready to not have his clean laundry piled in the laundry room after he has washed it, I can’t get ready to hear his dad and him discuss how much his dry cleaning bill costs us each month, I can’t get ready to not have his backpack and lap top left in the living room, I can’t get ready to not lay his mail on the stairs for him to take upstairs, I can’t get ready to not call him to check on him and remind him of curfew, I can’t get ready to not sit up and wait on him to come in at night, I can’t get ready to not have him pile in my lap knowing I’m claustrophobic, I can’t get ready to not hear him ask his dad to eat a bowl of cereal with him at night, I can’t get ready to not hear him play Israel Houghton music, I can’t get ready to not hear him making loops for a new song at church, I can’t get ready to not hear him acting silly with his buds on the phone, I just can’t seem to get ready…..
Oh Kent and I have worked hard through Trent’s life to prepare him for this week. He knows how to pay his bills, to set goals and obtain them, how to have cheap dates when his budget is taxed, how to pay his tithes, how to pray, how to spend most of his weekend dates at the church on Friday and Saturday nights, how to take care of his clothes and car, how to take care of Calah, how to work when he doesn’t feel good. I KNOW Trent is ready for this new and exciting change in his life.
Trent is taking Calah on a surprise (that has almost leaked out) international honeymoon. Though my children have travelled alone Redonia fears he isn’t ready to do an international trip without Mom or Dad. She insists we should not have allowed this. Allowed, we questioned? He will be a married man how can we tell him where he can and can’t go. Shhh Redonia I will worry about my baby, too. I KNOW he is responsible and will do fine but still he is my baby.
I’m thankful my baby is ready but I only wish I could get ready….
PS I read this to Kent before posting and we both sit here with tears STREAMING yes STREAMING, I don’t think Dad is ready either…..
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26 comments:
I am crying too. I can def help with the physical things. The great thing about this is that Trent and Calah will be working with you everyday! I am glad this is happening to you before me...you will be able to help me "get ready" for 3 boys leaving...I am sure that if it does I best not show it...lol I love each of you and look forward to having Calah a part of our church. Have a happy day!
What I meant to say was I wonder if it gets any easier with each one leaving and if it does....I better not show it! My fingers got ahead of my brain!
I woke up this morning and one of the first things I said was - Timo, your little cousin gets married this week. Timo laughed and said "little?" Well, to us he is little. You will get through the week, I did! Enjoy each day, I know Calah will add as much to your small family as Chelsea has to ours.
Wish I was there - now I'm crying!
Oh yeah, is he coming to see me? :-) I'm international?
I have tears in my eyes!! Everything you mentioned not being able to get ready for is almost word for word what I will be saying when my time comes. I know Calah will add so much to your life - but I understand the sense of "loss" also. On the other hand, you are "gaining" so much more - another daughter and eventually grandchildren!!!!
Enjoy this week - it only happens once.
I agree with Karla....enjoy this week. You made me cry too. Love you and don't worry about any church stuff, we've got it covered. Bro. Smith it's your job to keep her away.
Oh how sweet! You made me cry!! Thanks for reminding all of us how precious time is with our children not to mention very short. May God continue to richly bless you and your family.
I'm surviving!!!! We are having fun this week. Today I am going to write the big check for the rehearsal dinner balance. Trent and Calah are meeting up with us after they get the marriage license and we will buy his "wedding shoes"....Thanks everyone for letting me cry! lol I'll be here for each of you.
Vicki, I wish each of you could be here. This is when I don't like FMD! You know I LOVE it but just hate the miles that separate. We knew this would happen one day though.
FYI Calah isn't stressing so Trent is stressing because she isn't. He thinks she needs to get motivated and finish all the details in one day....I'm not sure who he got that trait from! :) Last night we encouraged him to chill. He went to bed thinking we ganged up with Calah against him! ha
Sis. Tracie,
I enjoy linking to your blog from Vicki's...your sister is a very special friend/mentor in my life.
Your blog is making me cry today....I know the day will come when I, too, will have to let go and let my children grow....
My thoughts are with you.
I also will be facing this in the near future! Kris is almost 20! I never cried when my boys went to kindergarten, but when Kris graduated last year, I didn't like it one bit! I definitely will not like them leaving our home. But... we have to let them go. It wouldn't be to healthy to keep them 'till they turn 40!
Tracie, I'll be thinking of you this week, and I'll whisper a prayer for you, NOW GO HAVE FUN!!!!!!!
I have no doubt that you can probably still call him on the cell phone to wake him up. Sleepy head could probably use some help, unless Calah is a hard nose morning girl. HAHA
There will be so many things you'll miss, but focus on the things you are GETTING!!! There aren't many moms that love their baby boys like you do that will have them in the EVERYDAY life like you will still have. He will be right next door from the church, and at the church and school EVERY DAY!
And after a grace period, he'll still be more than willing for him and Calah to go out to eat with dear old mom and dad!
So, focus on these ways he will still be so close. And remember, he DOES love his mama!
Between Trent getting married, Kristi having a baby, Lauren moving into an apartment - believe me, I have tried every way possible to figure out a way to come home but then I would have to leave Tremayne and Timo and I think God planned for me to be here with them right now.
I think our boys are too much alike. Micah was the one stressing as you remember and Chelsea was so calm even in the midst of her family problems. She was so relaxed. Just wait until Trent tells Calah - "in our family ...." or "ask my mother she will tell you..." HA! Poor Chelsea just smiles when Micah does that.
Love you and I have cried but I think it is selfish to express - so I won't. Have fun!
Sis. Smith, if your letter came from any of the women in your congregation you would say "are you having a pity party?" You rarely tolerate crying from the women, especially when you think its for no good reason. Bro. Smiths mother had a child move to South America. Your own mother had a daughter move to Africe. Yours isn't even moving to Houston! He's gonna live right next door to the church!
Pull up your big girl panties and deal with this. You've got it made compared to lots of women in your own church.
Let me appolgozie "Anonymous" if you felt I was having a 'pity party'. I certainly was not. We are too excited and having too much fun for that! I simply woke up the other day & realized Trent was about to be gone from home. I think any Mom is sad @ the thought of her children leaving home.
I listed the things that have driven me nuts of late but in my feeble way was trying to say though the socks, the clothes, the sleepy head, etc...I will miss even those things that have driven me nuts!!!! I was just being a little sentimental.....I do love my boy! As far as our siblings and parents with FMD children...we all share in that loss. Let me use my Mom's phrase I'd rather them be across the seas doing God's will that living here. I agree with Mom!
Maybe the comment was in jest...if so "I'm dealing with it!" ha ha I know emails and comments don't always show the real mood or intentions.
Ok off to finish having fun...for me today that's some church work and some wedding stuff!
Pass the Kleenex, please. LOL I think we all feel what you are expressing. My son is 22 and is nearing completion of the credentialing program. Once he becomes a teacher, he wants to work a couple years, save his pay, and then get married. I know that day will come much too soon for me. I will be just like you. Here's my shoulder, go ahead and cry. I'll probably need your shoulder in a couple years.
P.S. If this were my blog, I would delete the above anonymous comment. Anyone who wants to be so rude and not be big enough to claim it, should have their comments thrown in the trash.
I agree with Sis. Allard. If you truly love your children, crying tears of joy, missing habits that are no longer going to be, etc...is not a "pity party" Maybe "Anonymous" has not yet had the prividlege of sending a grown child into the world. What momma would not have all those feelings and emotions that come with a wedding, graduation, sending them off to college, etc....especially as close as Sis. Smith & Trent are. It's just the emotions of love not the fact that he may be miles away or next door, that shouldn't even matter. I truly think her post was sincere reflections of love and merely stating things she will miss when Trent is not at home...not a pity party.
I know there are evenings that I wonder when mine are going to call, or going to come home, simply forgetting they aren't there anymore.
I miss Adam with a vengeance. It's been 3 1/2 years, too. I also know that with Andrew leaving and not really sure when I'll see him again will be harder than I can imagine right now. Even when you know what is happening is the Will of God, it doesn't make it any easier.
just for clarification... Mom I love you and know that there is not a pity party involved here. I know you are proud and love Calah and I so much.
If you were having a pity party I know you would not be dropping thousands of your own money on Calah and I.
You have raised me that people who have pity parties are normally self centered people, and what you have given to Calah and I is anything but self pity.
As I have already stated on my blog(http://raymondtsmith.blogspot.com/). Calah and I are so grateful and love you and dad so much
Tracie, I can relate. Go ahead and cry and have fun all at the same time. It's okay. Us mom's understand completely.
Tracie,
I enjoyed your blog! You have every right to cry, laugh, and enjoy every moment this week! Even though he is going to be close, he will no longer live at home and his life will change. So enjoy it! We all are feeling for you this week! Enjoy hearing him come in this week and go up those stairs!
I have had a great time the last few days getting to know Calah. I love trent so much I think that we are all like family. We have all grown up together it will be like seeing my brother get married. So its not just you crying, know you others of us out there. Love ya
You got ahead and cry. It is your God-given right. We all know your tears are tears of love. PS: Where would the Kleenex company be if it wasn't for us mothers?
Ladies, ladies.....
Is it OK for Dad's to cry too?
The Father of the Groom......
Father of the Groom - I can't really explain it, but women want to marry a man that is big, strong, fearless, and then melt with love and admiration when they see his tenderness as a tear slides down his cheek. Guess that means yes, it is okay to cry.
Kent, Go ahead and cry. Sure it's okay!
When Redonia get married you're sure to do it even more. :) Nathan cried all the way down the aisle with Danelle. Ahhhh....it was precious though.
See post above from Jana. So True!
Ok....
You Califonia girls Fedex me a box of those kleenex....
Better than that...
Just send me a big old county boy hanky rag.......
Ya'll check out my blog tommorrow and see my wedding comments to Trent....
Every time I have tried to read it tonight I am tearing up and Tracie is laughing at me big time.....
I have to put in my thoughts on this, along with everyone else! Sis. Smith, I'm glad you are having your emotional times. If you weren't you would not be NORMAL! I understand every word of your post! ANY Mother knows exactly how you are feeling. I have two of the greatest "daughter-in-laws" in the world, and was thrilled beyond measure that my boys chose them, but I still had tears of sadness when the actual time came for them to leave home "for good". I also had tears of joy!
Bro. Smith, it's okay for Dad's to cry! Strong men....CRY!
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