It's a little weird having a married child! It seems weird to leave somewhere at night and they go one way and we go another. I want to run to Trent and say wait you didn't give me a good night hug or kiss but I softly say bye I love you kids. Then I get in the car and Kent doesn't start the car immediatley. He just sits there. I ask what's wrong. He is smiling rather than crying now and simply says "Ole Bub", fondly referring to Trent.
I can't remember how or why but during Bible Study last night Kent mentioned about teaching kids to make right decisions then having to sit back and let them make decisions hoping they are right. Behind me sat Mike Thacker. He "amened" Kent very strongly. He has a married daughter and another that is grown living on her own. The "Amen" caused me to think wow that's a man that has walked our path of a married child before us I'm glad he is agreeing with his Pastor!
After church my favorite floral designer, Courtney, brought a van load of new plants to decorate the church. Trent and Calah stayed and helped us. Around 10:30 when we all left the church Trent and Calah walk hand in hand to the parsonage. Kent and I sat in the car. We normally go get something to eat.
Trent normally goes with us and Redonia always goes with friends. After a few minutes Trent walked out of his house with some trash. Dad asked "Hey son are yall going to get something to eat?" Trent responded, "No sir we aren't going out tonight." They both exchanged a look. I can't describe it. Dad said "Ok son, I love you." Trent responded " Dad I love you and Mom, too." And off he turned and walked into his house.
With a lump in my throat I sat there. Kent said he doubted they had any extra money. He asked, "What do I do?" I could not answer. Kent put the car in drive and we slowly drive off. Kent squeezed my hand and said "Babe, they will be ok we have to let them do this." Well, we normally go to Chilis or somewhere similar but food just didn't sound good to either of us. We opted for a quiet snack at Sonic. We sat there quietly knowing we have taught our boy to stand on his feet.
"The look" exchanged between my boys was from Dad to Trent I want you to go with me son. "The look" back was Dad we are on a budget and can't afford it. Trent knew if he said at this point they would go that he and dad had clearly communicated with the "look" and Dad would buy. I'm proud of Trent. He is being a man like his Dad has trained him to be.
Our night reminded me of one that Linda Weldon shared with me in regards to her daughter, Amy. She told me about Amy being in the grocery store calculating her items and deciding what to keep and what to put back. She said she stood there with a lump knowing she could just buy Amy a whole basketof groceries. She went on to say but she knew Amy had to feel this and learn to manage her budget.
I'm glad Bro. Thacker "Amened" loudly and I'm glad Sis. Weldon shared her story with me months back. Isn't it funny how little things come back to our rememberance to help us on a rainy day?
I'm proud of the adjustments I see all of my children making. Not only are Trent and Calah growing so quickly but Redonia is growing, too. Yesterday Redonia was totally exhausted. She works night and day and is taking a photography class two nights per week. Yesterday I suggested she go and do something for herself. I suggested getting a manicure or pedicure. She said she really could not afford it so she opted to go home and take a much needed nap. Later I shared our conversation with Kent. He asked how much would that have cost. He told me to go and get the cash and give to Redonia so she can go this afternoon. I think I will! It feels so good to give them little surprises. Maybe I will go and buy her a new little outfit, too! Redonia uses most of her "extra" money to feed youth and children after church who never eat out otherwise. Last month I looked at her bank statement and cried when I calculated what she spends on others yet most of her summer casual clothes are things I bought her before she started working at the age of 16. It's great she is so tiny and has't grown much!
I'm glad my children are making adjustments in life. Are they perfect? No! I find my prayers are changing. Every day I pray that God gives them ears to hear His voice and eyes to see the dangers that may lie ahead. I pray that they be consumed with a love greater than ever to serve Him. I pray that God's hand will be upon them during this adjustment time in their lives.
Maybe like words of Mike Thacker and Linda Weldon rang out to me this blog may help some of you even if it's in years to come. I know many of you have already walked this path and this post can help you to pray for those of us who are having to let our little birds fly!
I can't remember how or why but during Bible Study last night Kent mentioned about teaching kids to make right decisions then having to sit back and let them make decisions hoping they are right. Behind me sat Mike Thacker. He "amened" Kent very strongly. He has a married daughter and another that is grown living on her own. The "Amen" caused me to think wow that's a man that has walked our path of a married child before us I'm glad he is agreeing with his Pastor!
After church my favorite floral designer, Courtney, brought a van load of new plants to decorate the church. Trent and Calah stayed and helped us. Around 10:30 when we all left the church Trent and Calah walk hand in hand to the parsonage. Kent and I sat in the car. We normally go get something to eat.
Trent normally goes with us and Redonia always goes with friends. After a few minutes Trent walked out of his house with some trash. Dad asked "Hey son are yall going to get something to eat?" Trent responded, "No sir we aren't going out tonight." They both exchanged a look. I can't describe it. Dad said "Ok son, I love you." Trent responded " Dad I love you and Mom, too." And off he turned and walked into his house.
With a lump in my throat I sat there. Kent said he doubted they had any extra money. He asked, "What do I do?" I could not answer. Kent put the car in drive and we slowly drive off. Kent squeezed my hand and said "Babe, they will be ok we have to let them do this." Well, we normally go to Chilis or somewhere similar but food just didn't sound good to either of us. We opted for a quiet snack at Sonic. We sat there quietly knowing we have taught our boy to stand on his feet.
"The look" exchanged between my boys was from Dad to Trent I want you to go with me son. "The look" back was Dad we are on a budget and can't afford it. Trent knew if he said at this point they would go that he and dad had clearly communicated with the "look" and Dad would buy. I'm proud of Trent. He is being a man like his Dad has trained him to be.
Our night reminded me of one that Linda Weldon shared with me in regards to her daughter, Amy. She told me about Amy being in the grocery store calculating her items and deciding what to keep and what to put back. She said she stood there with a lump knowing she could just buy Amy a whole basketof groceries. She went on to say but she knew Amy had to feel this and learn to manage her budget.
I'm glad Bro. Thacker "Amened" loudly and I'm glad Sis. Weldon shared her story with me months back. Isn't it funny how little things come back to our rememberance to help us on a rainy day?
I'm proud of the adjustments I see all of my children making. Not only are Trent and Calah growing so quickly but Redonia is growing, too. Yesterday Redonia was totally exhausted. She works night and day and is taking a photography class two nights per week. Yesterday I suggested she go and do something for herself. I suggested getting a manicure or pedicure. She said she really could not afford it so she opted to go home and take a much needed nap. Later I shared our conversation with Kent. He asked how much would that have cost. He told me to go and get the cash and give to Redonia so she can go this afternoon. I think I will! It feels so good to give them little surprises. Maybe I will go and buy her a new little outfit, too! Redonia uses most of her "extra" money to feed youth and children after church who never eat out otherwise. Last month I looked at her bank statement and cried when I calculated what she spends on others yet most of her summer casual clothes are things I bought her before she started working at the age of 16. It's great she is so tiny and has't grown much!
I'm glad my children are making adjustments in life. Are they perfect? No! I find my prayers are changing. Every day I pray that God gives them ears to hear His voice and eyes to see the dangers that may lie ahead. I pray that they be consumed with a love greater than ever to serve Him. I pray that God's hand will be upon them during this adjustment time in their lives.
Maybe like words of Mike Thacker and Linda Weldon rang out to me this blog may help some of you even if it's in years to come. I know many of you have already walked this path and this post can help you to pray for those of us who are having to let our little birds fly!
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11 comments:
I have a long way before I walk this path... and I'll need every moment until then to prepare me for that journey!! Praying for you!! :)
How well I can relate to your blog today! It is so hard to see your children learning to make wise decisions when you know that at that moment you could "fix" the situation. But as you know fixing it now isn't always the lesson that needs to be learned. But like you doing something nice for Redonia - I try to take things to the girls whenever I go to see them or when they are here I send things home with them to help out. But then again....what are moms for? Praying for you as you pray for me...love ya' Amanda
Adjustments. We've been making them every step of the way as for as our kids go. I remember thinking I had the baby on a schedule, just to have something happen just the VERY NEXT DAY to throw everything off kilter. Back to the proverbial drawing board trying to get things "right" - making adjustments - "tweaking" them as Pastor call it. Making adjustments with the screwdriver and not the hammer hopefully. Hm-m-m-m...
oh---thanks for all of the heartfelt encouragement today. Not only did I get a phone call, but an e-mail!
Can I be so human as to say I surely not only appreciated them, I needed them too. Really needed them. Thanks for being there for me.
Kathleen
That was nice.
I fear my children will never get there.
They are both mentally handicapped.
I have no idea how they are going to make it in the world.
Tracie, it does get easier! I've said a few times, "This is the guy who took my daughter!" Adam's reply the last time was, "Well, Mom, not too far!" Meaning that she is still here in our town, about 5 blocks from us and they are our best friends here, the lonely times as pastors, can be helped a little by having our children near who love us unconditionally! It is finding the balance as parents that is tough, when to help, when to let them do it on their own, letting them grow up but staying close. Last week, Stephen kept trying to buy Adam & Misti's food at a fast food place, they kept saying "No!" Over their shoulders I barely shook my head to Stephen, he stopped trying. Later, I told him, they have their pride, let them make their way and help when it is truly needed. Hard on Dad to see his little girl making it on her own. But it is so rewarding when they are doing so great and you see them so dedicated to God and His work.
Here's a Kleenex and my shoulder. So many emotions!!! Girl, you are so expressive in your writing. It's as if we are there walking in your shoes with you. Hang in there. It will get better.
Thanks, girls!!!! Trent and Calah are @ South Texas Camp Mtg since they missed Texas. They are having a terrific time. Kent, Redonia, and I are in Dallas @ TX SR Bible Quiz finals. We are having fun. Our team is guaranteed 3rd place and headed to nationals. They will play more tomorrow. Tonight is the banquet. I went shopping today and bought Redonia a new outfit and both girls new purses. It's fun having two girls now. Redonia is going to be with a great friend of hers tonight so I thought a new outfit was appropriate! :) Poor Kent and Trent get left out! lol I love you all.
Hey, we want to go eat with you! But I'm afraid we're on a budget too. We'll just have to snack at Sonic with you someday soon. Loved the feel of this post. Very real.
-Jamie
What else is there but to shower those with love with love and "surprises"? If you feel it and are able to, do it! Spoil them!
Yes it does get better, but they'll still be your little one and you'll still be mama. To see them happy will make all the difference.
Your post is so personal it is like a tender touch in the place where I am right now. Thank you.
Hey Sis. Smith !!! thank you for your comment on my page... I'm not sure how many golf carts I've "stolen" over the years... but It was always worth it!!! I like this post of yours. It was the hardest thing me when I first got married to stay within our budget !!! I hated it because I was used to just having everything!! But over time I learned how to grocery shop and to stay within our means.. It made it so much easier on my poor husband! You sound SO much like my mom in this blog but you guys raised us right so don't worry SO much!!
Love you too!
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